The Muses (muse_journal) wrote,
The Muses

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I went to a club last night with my sister and her friends. Danced a little...then went to sit at the bar. I just wanted to relax for a few minutes. Instead a brunette girl sauntered up, sitting herself next to me and trying to get my attention. Eventually I gave into the girl...she was determined...and sat and talked to her for a while. She was cute. No, that's a lie. She was beautiful. Blue eyes and wavy hair and about my height. She was nice, too. We talked for a while, about random things. Then she grabbed my hand and, pretty smile and all, dragged me out onto the dance floor. I wanted to tell her no...but the part of me dead set on getting me to go in a forward direction kept me quiet. So we danced for a while. She would flash me those smiles...ones that should render any passerby speechless and she would touch my arm and mess with my hair. She was fun and pretty and nice...I should have melted over her.

She leaned up to kiss me...and it all broke. I couldn't kiss her. I couldn't let her kiss me. It was...wrong, somehow, to have someone kissing me. As lovely as she was...I couldn't just kiss her. I think I jumped away, stammered an apology, and escaped out the front door and holed up in the cafe next door until my sister found me. She said the girl wanted to know if I was alright. *Shakes head* I let everyone stay dancing and stuck around the cafe until they decided to drive home, without going back into the club.

It's been almost two months. I'm not going into woe is me territory, since that's not quite how I work, but...I still miss her. She calls on the occasion, but the last time I saw her was when we had dinner. I'm starting to dive when the phone rings. What the hell?

In any other state, after last night I would have a phone number written on my hand and a date tomorrow. I haven't gone through this scenario often, but on the rare time or two that's how it worked out. But now, when a pretty girl tries to kiss me, all my mind can drag up is pink hair and combat boots. I'm still a bit in love with her, it seems. I'm supposed to be getting over her. That was the plan. It seems to just be going nowhere.
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